


Bad Liar

by grainyangel



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: AU: not professional athletes just regular lesbians, F/F, Pining, Rule 63, can u believe i'm literally the first person in the world to do that, i think its fair to say that Idiots to Lovers applies, i.e. no hockey in this one, they both think the other person doesn't feel the same way as they do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-17 19:27:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20626313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grainyangel/pseuds/grainyangel
Summary: “I have no one to send my nudes to, it’s sobooooring.”And Nolan had said, “you can send them to me, I don’t care.”That’s how it started.-Nolan was just being a good friend when she offered that TK could send her nudes to her. She hadn't factored in the possibility of falling in love with her best friend. She was going to tell her, though. She was!





	Bad Liar

**Author's Note:**

> this is Rule 63, both characters are cis women
> 
> yeah the title is from the Selena Gomez song and what are you gonna do about it
> 
> Thanks to Robyn for beta reading, I think that’s what beta reading is, thanks

“I have no one to send my nudes to, it’s so _booooring.”_

And Nolan had said, “you can send them to me, I don’t care.” 

That’s how it started.

Well, that wasn’t exactly how it had happened. They’d been in Nolan’s room on her bed, studying for different classes. Nolan had been doing an online quiz, and TK had been trying to get through a chapter in a textbook. TK had gotten restless and started talking.

Really, it had gone more along the lines of:

“–it’s so _booooring.”_

“why do you even need to send nudes?”

“Cus I have them.” A _duh_ heavily implied.

“You know you don’t have to send them to anyone”

“Yes I do, that’s the funnest part”  


“Funnest isn’t a word.”

But TK had just flipped her off and Nolan had laughed said, “send them to me, I don’t care.”

And it was fine. It was, well, Nolan had assumed it would be. She knew plenty of people who sent their friends nudes all the time. It was just a normal thing that some friends did. Why shouldn’t they do it?

TK clearly had a need that wasn’t being met. Nolan was just being a good friend after all. Nolan wasn’t laughing so much now.

*

Nolan had put in her earphones while she was waiting for the bus after class. It got there pretty much right away so Nolan put the cigarette she’d been planning to smoke behind her ear. 

The AC wasn’t on inside so she started sweating right away as she took her seat. 

Nolan was watching a YouTube video on her phone when she got a text from TK. She touched the notification banner and exited the video. TK was asking about Nolan’s plans the next day after class. Nolan reminded TK of the tattoo appointment she’d made weeks ago and which she’d definitely already told her about at least once before. 

TK’s only response was just, 

_sexy_

And then:

_oh_

_u kno what else is sexy?_

what

TK sent an image.

do you do this when you know I am in public on purpose?

_why r u in public?_

had class 

going home now

_ill come over after gym_

_?_

Nolan replied with three thumbs up emojis.

She lit the cigarette first thing when she got off.

*

“It’s your own fault for being a serial monogamist,” Nolan had said, “bad habits.” 

“I’m not,” TK had argued. 

“Dude. You’re the textbook definition,”

It wasn’t like Nolan had been constantly turning that conversation over in her head. It was just, like, you can’t help what you remember and when you remember it and, like, she just remembered it kind of often. And when she remembered it she couldn’t really help, like, thinking about what TK had meant and if Nolan had said the right thing, like, maybe it was weird. Maybe it was her own fault for how it all turned out.

TK had been single for a while now. The longest she’d been while they’d known each other Nolan was pretty sure. But TK’s past record was pretty incriminating, she didn’t do casual. Even when they went out, she never hooked up with anyone random. Nolan knew because she’d been watching, but as long as TK didn’t notice it didn’t even matter. TK was the kind that fell in love. And going by what TK had told Nolan that was often the thing that got her broken up with.

Another quirk of TK’s record was that she was often the one getting dumped. Apparently it freaked her exes out that she was so ready to love and to give and to commit. It was strange, there was a sort of cognitive dissonance between the kind of energy TK generally projected, and then the knowledge that she could care so deeply it spooked those who were subjected to it. it was also fucked up because Nolan knew TK really well, they were like best friends or whatever, and she’d never felt spooked or overwhelmed or whatever. Well. Not in that way, anyway.

But this was all weird and deep shit that they didn’t really talk about that often unless something was wrong. Not that they didn’t talk about stuff, they definitely did, but they didn’t talk about, like, bummer stuff often, not when there was so much other shit to talk about, like how Nolan was sure that if TK had been a guy she wouldn’t have been able to grow a beard for shit, and how TK kept saying that Nolan was like, an incognito ginger even though her hair was clearly brown, or whether coffee was better iced or hot. 

And nothing was wrong. Everything was good. It was really, really good. And they were both doing really well. And it made Nolan nervous because doing well felt like a trap, like if she got comfortable, someone was going to come and pull the rug out from under her. 

But like, figuratively. 

Like maybe any moment now, TK could meet someone and everything would change. Or something like that.

“You sure?” TK had asked.

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Alright, hell yeah.” TK had pulled her phone up right away. “I take incredible nudes, I’m just saying.”

“Cocky much.”

“I’m just saying, I’ve had a lot of practice and I’ve pretty much mastered the craft of the tasteful nude.”

_“Tasteful?” _

“Well, some of them are,” TK had said with a coy, crooked smile. “Look at this one,” she said and pushed her phone in Nolan. 

TK in front of her bed in the mirror against the wall opposite, in just plain underwear and a white t-shirt that she was holding up showing her tan stomach, the phone in front of her face in order to get her whole body in the shot.

“Ooh, ohh, and this one!”

TK in a bright orange bikini, in a mirror again, somewhere Nolan didn’t recognize, turned to show off her ass.

Obviously Nolan remembered those first two. It was a whole thing, so like, that just made sense. 

It wasn’t like they’d never seen each other in their underwear or whatever before. They’d changed in front each other plenty of times, and gone swimming together, it wasn’t something Nolan hadn’t seen before. 

Except it was. 

This was different. It was definitely different. It _felt_ different.

And so TK had started sending Nolan her nudes. 

And, okay, in the beginning of all this Nolan was almost impressed by TK’s substantial catalogue of pictures of herself in various stages of undress. Nolan hadn’t looked too hard at the pictures themselves, she’d just sent off a reply to give TK the validation she knew she wanted. 

But then Nolan had started looking. Really looking. She hadn’t meant to. They weren’t really for her. But she really looked. And she still kept her replies simple, because now she couldn’t say what she _really_ wanted to. She couldn’t. 

Because they pictures weren’t for her. Not really.

And it was a lot that; mirror selfies of TK in her bra and underwear – nothing fancy, Nolan was pretty sure TK didn’t own any underwear that didn’t come in a multipack – sometimes more artsy ones of TK in her bathroom or with an arm artfully draped over her body to cover her nipples and a fogged-up mirror. Sometimes pictures of TK’s ass, lots of picture of her ass actually. 

She had a great ass and she liked to show it off, it made sense. 

A few times TK had sent pictures of herself unobscuredly topless, and Nolan hadn’t said a word. 

Well, she had the first time. 

(ur whole tits out u kno that right? and the reply had been _yea lol_ and that had been that.) 

Nolan never replied with pictures of her own, usually just emojis. Sometimes TK would follow up with a _how do I look??_ And Nolan would tell her: 

good

*

Nolan was in line at the coffee shop ordering for both herself and TK. TK always got the same thing so obviously Nolan knew what to get her. 

A Patti Smith song was on in the shop. 

The line was kind of long and kind of slow and every time Nolan looked over at TK, TK made some stupid face to try and make her laugh. Nolan resisted this time, by some herculean feat of restraint. Nolan hated when she did that. Because it usually worked. 

She got their drinks finally, and just before sitting down Nolan took a sip of TK’s iced coffee just to be annoying.

“Hey!”

“This is nasty,” Nolan said.

“You’re nasty,” said TK.

_“You’re_ nasty.” Fine. Not Nolan’s finest comeback.

“Okay, Big Bird”

“Okay, fuckin’, Ratatouille.”

TK snorted.

“Remi,” she said.

“What?”

“The rat from Ratatouille is called Remi.”

“Whatever,” Nolan said, rolling her eyes. “You’re such a fucking nerd.” She hadn’t even seen that movie in years so like, it wasn’t like it even mattered.

TK smacked Nolan’s leg.

“Careful! New tattoo! Fuck.” Nolan said.

“Oh, shit, right. Sorry, bro.” 

“Jesus.”

“Can I see it?”

“What? Sure.”

When TK just looked at her expectantly Nolan raised an eyebrow at her.

“What?”

“Can it see it _now?”_

“We’re in public.”

“Point being?”

_“Point being_ that I can’t just whip it out, in front of everyone.”

“Why not? It’s not like it’s on your ass. Wait, it’s not on your ass is it?”

“No, it’s not on my fucking ass.”

“Then…?”

“Just– Because!”

“Fine, show me later then.”

“You’ve already seen it.”

“Yeah, a picture, I wanna see the real thing, obviously.”

“I’ll show you when we get home.”

“Actually,” TK said then, with a look on her face that almost made Nolan shiver. “Show me now.”

“I just–”

“–in the bathroom.”

“What?”

“You can show me in the bathroom.”

“Right now?”

_“Yes.”_

“But what about, like, our drinks? And things and stuff?”

“What about it?”

“Someone could, like, take it,” Nolan said.

Instead of responding, TK scooted along the bench, to the girl sitting a table over and asked if she could watch their things for a second while they went to the bathroom, the girl smiled at TK and Nolan both and said _sure, of course._

TK scooted back and beamed at Nolan: “Come on,” she said.

She slipped out of her seat and took Nolan’s wrist to pull her up after her. 

There were no other people in the bathroom, but Nolan still followed TK into a stall and watched TK turn the lock.

“Are you even supposed to wear jeans when you got a fresh tattoo?” TK asked.

“It’s fine, it’s not _that_ new.”

“Sure.”

Nolan stood for a second feeling suddenly shy.

“Well?” TK said. “Let’s see it.”

Nolan undid the button and the zipper.

She was acutely aware of TK watching her and she did absolutely everything she could to remind herself that this wasn’t anything. 

She pushed down her jeans.

The stalls were clearly not designed with the purpose of fitting two people in them at the same time. 

TK crouched down and leaned in to get a better look. She rested her elbow on her knee and put her hand on her chin, studying it, really considering it. Nolan had a hard time watching. 

Instead she fixed her eyes on a spot where someone had scratched at the paint or wallpaper or whatever it was on the wall of the stall. It looked like maybe letters, but barely legible. That might be an L and then maybe an E–

“Patty?”

Nolan looked down and saw TK looking up from her crouch with a grin on her face. Nolan felt out of breath.

Her fingers hovered just over Nolan’s skin.

“Can I?” she asked. 

Nolan just nodded. 

TK put her fingertips to Nolan’s still tender skin. Traced the lines of the design. Her touch was feather-light. Nolan’s eyes stung.

Nolan was hyperaware of every single one of her own movements. And of how whatever blood in her body that hadn’t gone directly to her cheeks was going between her legs. This wasn’t sexy. It was not a sexy situation. Nolan had no reason to be as turned as on she was. She felt like her face was burning up. 

TK put her other hand on Nolan’s knee to keep her balance. Nolan was in all seriousness not going to make it. She was going to die here. She’d just drop dead right then and there. She hoped TK wouldn’t be too traumatized and could go on to live a normal life.

TK was grinning again. She was nodding to herself. Nolan was watching the top of her head. The color of her hair looked weird under fluorescent lights, and Nolan was pretty sure TK hadn’t brushed it, maybe ever. She wanted to put her hand on the back of her head, pet her hair, feel TK lean back against her touch. 

TK sort of half snorted. It sounded kind of like a laugh.

“What?” Nolan asked, snapping back to reality and then for a split second genuinely pondering if this was even real at all.

“It’s very…” TK said.

“Very _what?”_

“It’s so you, Patty,” she said. “I love it, bro.” Her eyes were bright. “Heart with wings? That’s fucking dope, dude. So cool.”

TK got up from her crouch, still looking up at Nolan. They were standing very close. The stalls weren’t big to begin with. It seemed to Nolan that TK was standing as close as was physically possible without actually touching her. She couldn’t for the life of her understand why the fuck she would do that. 

The corner of TK’s mouth twitched as she looked at Nolan’s face. 

“Hm,” she said with what would only be described as _mirth,_ “pink.” 

She met Nolan’s eyes. Nolan didn’t look away. Couldn’t.

Nolan wanted to argue. Under different circumstances she would have, but before she could muster the wherewithal to do so TK finally took half a step back and finally broke the gaze, making Nolan feel like she was breaking the surface of some great body of water and getting to finally suck in a gulp of air. TK took Nolan’s arm then, turned it over, looking at Nolan’s other, older tattoos. She touched one with a finger.

“You know,” she said, “I always liked these a lot. They’re pretty.”

“Uh, thanks,” Nolan said. She felt lightheaded.

A bit of hair was hanging in TK’s face and Nolan wanted to push it behind TK’s ear. She wanted to so badly it made her fingertips itch. She wanted it so badly that everything else fell away. She heard a rushing in her ears. TK’s hands on her arm was the only thing anchoring her to her own body, if TK hadn’t been holding on Nolan thought she might have just drifted away. 

She didn’t even realize that TK was talking before she said her name.

“Patty?”

“Huh?”

“–should probably get back before all my ice melts.”

Nolan really wanted to shoot back something snarky, like how it was her own fault for getting an iced drink in the first place, admittedly not her finest work, but she didn’t even manage that.

She just said “uh, yuh,” and wanted to hit herself for it.

TK let go of Nolan’s arm and grinned at her, chuckled, turned the lock back and before Nolan could even pull her pants back up she’d snuck out, presumably to go back to their table.

Nolan washed her hands in very cold water before exiting the bathroom and rejoining TK. 

She tried to look herself in the mirror but as she did she found she kept wanting to avert her eyes. 

She looked at her hands instead, as she shook some of the water off and dried them with a paper towel, and tried real hard to remember how normal people breathed.

*

Nolan had a class on Monday morning. Boring class. It wasn’t mandatory attendance or anything but Nolan preferred to just go, even if she wasn’t going to get anything done. And Nolan already knew. She really wasn’t going to today.

She hadn’t always been the going to class type. When she started she only went to a fraction of them, preferred to just do her readings at home, do her assignments, make up for her absences with extra credit work later in the semester. It was TK’s fault actually. 

TK didn’t like reading, so she had made a rule to go to every single class. Every tutorial, every session, every single class. 

When they’d first met, Nolan had thought it was ridiculous. 

But she’d rubbed off on Nolan. Nolan recognized that there was a method to the madness. She also realized that TK was probably one of the hardest workers she had ever met. That was another weird thing about her. 

It was TK in a nutshell, a thousand weird and infuriating and conflicting things all wrapped up in a girl who couldn’t sit still for a single second. TK had seemed so all over the place. 

She’d seemed like she should have been a mess. 

And she sort of was. But she was also focused and ambitious. She had an insane work ethic that she applied to almost everything she did; school, working out, fucking duck hunting. It was hot. It was really fucking hot. TK was so fucking hot. Nolan was the real mess. 

And she didn’t like being the messy one. She tried to better herself in small ways. She started going to class more. Whatever. It wasn’t even a big deal.

Not a half hour into the total two hours she pulled out his phone.

im bored, she wrote.

Nolan wasn’t sure if TK was even awake. She didn’t have classes on Mondays and was probably sleeping in. That didn’t really matter. She was mostly just texting her to have something to do so she didn’t dose off.

theres a rly nasty dude sitting right in front of me

first of all he has a cold or something

and he keeps coughing into his hand

HIS HANDS

not even his sleeve or like his elbow or whatever

so gross

im hungry

I think I forgot 2 eat breakfast

i saw a dead bird by the bus stop earlier

ew he did it again

so

gross

idek his name ive only seen him like

one other time

he never shows up for class

its like he just showed up to infect everyone

_bro_

_im sleeping_

good morning 

_how do u forget if u ate breakfast orn ot_

TK sent an image 

TK IM IN CLASS

_what_

_?_

someone could have seen!!!!!

_i look like really good rn _

_for someone who just woke up_

_i havetn even washed my hair in like_

_idk lol _

Nolan typed something. Then deleted it. started typing something else. Deleted that too.

What she ended up going with was this: 

lol

*

Sometimes she’d send videos too. 

There was one that Nolan knew would haunt her to the day she died. A video TK had sent her one night, after they’d been out together with some friends. Nolan had just gotten in, taken off her clothes, decided that she couldn’t be fucked to shower before bed. 

Her phone had pinged with a snap from TK, a video of her in her bedroom with the tacky pink light on, and she had taken off her top and was just in her bra, and her skin was so tan and smooth like it always fucking was, and her eyelids were heavy, and she had been singing, or lip syncing, along to music playing from her laptop, somewhere out of frame. 

She had been holding her phone out at arm’s length with the front facing camera on herself. 

And she was just dancing, and singing, and she fell onto her bed. And she was drunk. Nolan had been tipsy too. Maybe a little more than tipsy. 

It just went on and on and on. TK in her underwear singing to Nolan in her room. It was kind of stupid. 

It wasn’t even the raciest thing she’d sent Nolan. Far from it. But when Nolan had seen it, not sober but very alone in her room in the early hours of the morning she’d almost teared up. And that was for sure stupid. Who tears up when they get turned on? Stupid. It was all very, very, just incredibly stupid. 

And drunk TK was so dangerous. Especially because drunk TK wasn’t just constrained to the odd night out or parties or whatever, not that TK was that big on partying, that was the thing. 

She liked to stay in with a bottle of cheap wine, sometimes something less sophisticated too. She’d get tipsy on her own and read, or play video games, or watch YouTube videos, often the ones with rescued animals that usually made her cry. 

Sometimes she cried about YouTube videos about other things too. The YouTube video crying was one of the less predictable aspects of TK’s nights in. 

Nolan knew all this because sometimes she’d invite her up to join, and whenever she didn’t she’d send pictures, snaps, texts, real-time updates about how her evening was going. A constant stream of texts and even voice memos, or pictures or videos on snapchat.

Sometimes she’d just facetime her.

And she’d say these things, TK, when she’d been drinking. Things that might have been fine on their own, but with the pictures and everything, it had become too much. It was too, too much. 

And Nolan was going to tell her. She was! She would tell TK that she’d fallen in love with her and that she knew it was stupid and not to worry it was fine or whatever, and obviously they were still going to be friends it was just a weird thing et cetera. Nolan was going to tell her. And it might make it weird between them, and of course that made Nolan nervous, but she had to tell her. She had to. And she would! She really was going to tell her. It was just hard to like, find the right time. 

And until then, Nolan couldn’t imagine the pictures from TK doing any more harm than they already had, so to speak.

TK was mouthy. So fucking mouthy. She might make a joke about it. She would definitely make jokes. But she wasn’t mean-spirited or cruel. She’d get it. She’d joke, but she’d get it. Nolan might never live it down, but she could manage. She just had to get it over with, and then it would go away, maybe.

They saw each other almost every single day. When they both had class, they’d meet up on campus, if the timing worked out they took the bus home together. It was a regular thing that TK came over straight from the gym, hair still wet from the shower, and just threw herself on Nolan’s bed. 

She’d usually go through her fridge first though. 

If Nolan was being honest, and she’d never let TK hear it, but TK was the better cook of the two. TK didn’t actually like cooking, though, so she didn’t really do it much. TK never did anything she didn’t want to do. It spoke to her strong principles. Or she was just stubborn. Could go either way, really. Nolan was an okay cook at best but she enjoyed it. She liked the process, she liked eating together with someone. 

She didn’t, like, _love_ cooking, but she liked it. And TK seemed to like eating her food, so it couldn’t be, like, too awful. It was an intuition thing, cooking, like sure you could learn to be a good cook, but like, you could get pretty far on like, intuition or whatever. Gut feeling, no pun intended. That was TK’s theory, anyway. Nolan wasn’t sure how they’d gotten there, the conversation had been about TK trying to justify coming over and eating Nolan’s leftovers. 

It was Saturday. Nolan had shit to do all day, reading, finishing a paper for class, meeting a friend later who had bought a used iPhone online and had asked Nolan to come with because didn’t want to go pick it up alone. 

She hadn’t heard from TK yet that day but assumed she would later, probably TK complaining about Nolan not being around to hang out. But she didn’t. 

At 3pm TK still hadn’t texted. And that was normal. Like some days there wasn’t much to talk about. And they had hung out all evening the day before. 

And likely TK had shit of her own to do. Homework maybe. Or regular work. 

She sometimes covered Saturday shifts, when her coworker called out with a sick kid or something like that. 

That was probably it. 

Normal stuff. 

At 5pm Nolan was back home, after having done some very light grocery shopping and she was about to make a big batch of very, very budget friendly chili. Meal prep, et cetera. Nolan had chopped what needed chopping and put everything in the pot and there was nothing more for her to do than let it simmer for a while. 

She did dishes. She could have left them for later, but she also absolutely could not have done that under any circumstances. TK would have left them. TK was such a slob. 

TK hadn’t texted. Nolan could text. She didn’t have anything interesting to say, but that was hardly relevant. 

Her phone was on the counter. She pulled up facetime and called. It was easier to talk about nothing when you could hear each other’s voices. This was a thing they did, called each other on facetime even though they could quite literally walk up or down stairs to visit the other in the same time it took to unlock the phone and open the app. Lazy habit. 

Also Nolan had food on the stove. 

_“Hey, babe.”_ Nolan did _not_ flinch. 

“TK?”

_“What’s up? You making dinner?”_

“Yeah.”

_“What are you making?”_

“Chili.”

_“For real? I’m starving.” _

Nolan went out and unlocked and left ajar the front door so TK could just walk right in and then returned to the kitchen.

“What’s up?” Nolan said as TK shuffled in. And she did shuffle. Shoes left at the door, sock feet barely leaving the ground. Weird. 

“Smells good,” TK said.

“Wanna taste?” Nolan asked already fishing a spoon out of a drawer for her.

“Sure.” TK took the spoon and, again, shuffled over to the stove.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” A little clipped.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know, weird day I guess.”

“Weird how?” Nolan asked.

“Just boring, I guess.”

“What’d you do all day?”

TK shrugged. “Nothing much,” she said.

“Nothing?” 

“Just, like, hung out, I guess.” Nolan got the lid for her. 

TK blew on the steaming spoonful.

“Can you do that over the sink?”

TK just cracked a smile and blew again before putting it in her mouth, and hissing.

“Ah, fuck, hot!” except her mouth was full of hot food so it sounded more like “rrrh fhhck hht.”

Nolan snorted. “Doin’ great.”

“I was gonna say something nice about this,” TK said after finally swallowing, “but now I’m not going to.”

“Aw,” Nolan said, more grateful that she knew how to articulate that the tone at least was light, “thanks, TK.”

Despite the banter while Nolan had finished dinner, TK was still being oddly quiet when they sat down to eat on Nolan’s couch. 

TK sat cross-legged with her back against the armrest. Nolan had her side to her with her feet up on the coffee table. 

On the table was also Nolan’s laptop with some random YouTube video on. 

TK was being weird. Nolan couldn’t really ignore it any longer. She was being weird and Nolan couldn’t just do nothing, so she finally asked:

“Is… uh, is everything alright?”

“I already said I’m fine,” TK said.

“I know, I heard you, it’s just, you know– I mean, you _know_ you can like. Tell me. If something up. Right?”

“Right.”

“Yeah.”

“I know. I know, it’s just. Okay.” TK shifted her weight with an un-TK-like awkwardness. “Do I like– okay promise you won’t laugh,” she said and Nolan steeled herself. TK was looking at her hands. “Am I… am I annoying?” TK asked. 

“Huh?”

“Am I, like, do you think I’m annoying?”

“What? No.”

“Be honest!”

“I am! You’re my best friend, you’re not. You’re not annoying.”

“I always spam you and stuff. I’m, like, I never shut up or whatever.”

“You’re not annoying.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, Teek, I promise.”

TK seemed to have relaxed a bit. (She’d stretched her legs to press her feet under Nolan’s leg.) But Nolan couldn’t stop thinking about what TK had said earlier. She couldn’t stop thinking about if she’d done something to make TK think she was being too much. Nolan couldn’t stand the thought. 

They finished eating. Nolan got them both a beer from the fridge, and though she didn’t feel good about it, left the empty dishes on the counter.

Nolan sat down and debated with herself for a second if it was worth it to try and tell herself that she wasn’t sitting closer to the middle of the couch, closer to TK, than the spot she’d been in before getting up. 

She decided she really couldn’t be bothered. 

Why lie to herself? She wanted TK as close as she could have her. She was slowly beginning to realize that she wasn’t that good a liar anyway.

Nolan knew she was sort of an asshole sometimes and that she had made being cool and grumpy her whole thing, but she thought TK knew. Knew that she didn’t really mean it. Not with TK anyway. 

Nothing about TK made her feel neither cool nor grumpy. There wasn’t a single thing about TK that Nolan didn’t like. Well. Not anything that mattered. She wanted TK to know that. She needed to let TK know that she really meant what she’d said earlier. She needed to make sure TK really believed it.

“TK,” she said before she could chicken out.

“What?”

“You’re… you’re not annoying.”

“I got that,” TK said, but she also noticed her glancing up, not to meet Nolan’s eyes because Nolan wasn’t looking at TK’s face, she was looking at TK’s hands, fiddling with the drawstring on her hoodie.

“I’m serious.” Nolan cleared her throat. “I, like, never don’t wanna talk to you. I like that you’re always there, I– I miss when you’re not. You’re my best friend…”

TK tucked her chin, embarrassed now.

“If you were being annoying I’d tell you,” Nolan said, “trust me. You’re– you’re not. You’re fine.”

“Oh? I’m _fine?_ That’s pretty grand praise, Patty.”

“Whatever.”

“Nolan Patrick thinks I’m _fine.”_

“Don’t make me regret saying it.”

“But you did say it–”

“I wish I hadn’t.”

“–must be–”

“God…”

“–cus you _looooooove_ me,”

“Like now. Now you’re annoying.”

“Yeah, nice try. You complimented me and now I’m too powerful. You created a monster and now you have to live with the consequences! I’m great! You love me, you love me!”

“I take it back,”

“No take backs! You love me!”

Lying in bed that night Nolan felt her own skin. Caressed it, grazed it, tried to imagine would it would feel like to someone else, under someone else’s fingers. TK’s fingers. Nolan’s skin, warm and soft. So soft, she wanted to say it out loud, tell someone, tell TK; _My skin is so soft! It wants touching!_ She touched her own breast, her neck and her shoulder. 

She imagined TK touching her. Tried to imagine what it would feel like to TK. 

She considered where she’d guide TK’s hands, where her skin was the very softest and the supplest. Where she should get TK to touch her to make her want to touch her more, more, more. 

Nolan imagined about how she’d spread her legs for TK so she could settle between them. Maybe TK would reach down with her hand between Nolan’s legs, feel how turned on just having TK so close to her made her. How wet. She’d find her clit, or slip a finger inside. 

Or maybe Nolan would be the one to reach a hand down between them, have TK ride her fingers. And, _God_, what Nolan wouldn’t do to get to see what TK’s face looked like when she came.

She couldn’t stop herself, she imagined falling asleep next to TK.

And then worse still, she imagined waking up the next morning with TK still in her bed.

*

One afternoon on a day when Nolan had had almost a whole day of classes she had gone straight home, changed, and gone for a run. 

She tried to go at least four times a week. She wasn’t a fan of gyms but she cared about staying in shape, and running felt good. It couldn’t really compare to jerking off, but it felt good to use her body, her muscles, to get her pulse up and her blood pumping. Especially on days like this one when she’d been sitting on her ass all day.

She brought her phone to listen to music, but put it on _do not disturb_ so she wouldn’t get distracted.

After the run she took the stairs up. She was sweaty and tired but in a good way, spent in a way that made her feel strong. As she was walking up she pulled her phone out to see if she’d gotten any messages while she’d been out.

There were four notifications. Three texts, all from TK. And one snapchat, also from TK. 

She didn’t open any of them until she was inside her apartment and had stripped down, about to go in the shower.

The snap turned out to be several pictures in succession. TK had been at the gym. Or was at the gym. Nolan didn’t look at the time stamp. She just looked at the pictures. 

TK’s sleeves were rolled up, showing off her biceps, and she was flexing. TK’s baby hairs were stuck to her skin with sweat. There was one where she was lifting up her shirt to show off her abs too.

Nolan’s vision started blurring and she blinked furiously.

She groaned out loud. Then she went and got in the shower. She washed her hair and her body and she closed her eyes and leaned her back against the cold tile and rubbed one out to thinking about TK and TK and TK and TK.

TK’s body was incredible. Nolan wasn’t sure she’d ever straight up said so to TK, but her body was completely insane. TK spent a lot of time at the gym. She didn’t work out to get skinny, she worked out to get strong, she’d told Nolan so. 

And, God, she was. TK could probably crush somebody’s ribcage or their skull between her thighs and Nolan was aware that it was quite a gruesome image but looking at, or sometimes even just thinking about TK’s legs made all Nolan’s blood flow to her head so violently it made her dizzy. 

Tight. That was the best word Nolan could think of for her body. TK’s body was little and strong and tight. And her skin. God, fuck, her fucking skin. Tan all year around, and quite starkly so next to Nolan’s own near vampiric complexion. And she looked warm. Her skin looked warm. Nolan didn’t know how or why, only that it just did. Warm to the touch. And she had this partial tattoo sleeve on her bicep. Ducks. Fucking ducks. 

When Nolan came out of the shower she typed out a message and sent it:

do u ever take any selfies with clothes On?????

*

Nolan had had leftovers for dinner one Thursday evening after class.

She did the reading for her class the following day. She clipped her nails. Painted them. Black. Obviously.

She spent the rest of evening on her couch watching YouTube videos with her hand in her pants. 

Someone called Nolan’s phone when she was just deciding if she should watch another episode of Monster Factory or just go to bed. 

There was really only one person it could be at that time of night but her heart still skipped a beat when she turned over her phone and saw the incoming facetime call from TK. 

Nolan picked up of course. 

Music was playing in the background, too low for Nolan to make out. 

“What’s up?” she asked.

_“Nothing much,”_ TK said as her head popped into frame.

“You called me…?”

_“Yeah.”_  


“Why?”

_“Cus I missed you. Duh.”_

“Are you drunk?”

TK giggled. _“A little,”_ she said. 

Nolan sighed. Deeply.

“What are you doing?”

_“Just listening to music.”_

“Alright. What are you listening to then?”

_“…song just ended.”_

Nolan waited a moment.

“Did you want something?”

_“Oh fuck, this song! This song! It’s so good!”_

“What?”

TK started moving to a beat that Nolan could barely even hear.

_“This song!”_ TK just yelled, thankfully not into Nolan’s ear, since she had put the call on speaker and was holding her phone in front of her _“‘–look at me like I’m an alien… tell by your smile that your– hmm… deep down you know, we could’ve been good together–’”_

“TK?”

_“What?”_

“What are you doing?”

_“This song! ‘Coco Chanel… mademoiselle…’”_

“What? What song?” 

TK had put down the phone somewhere so she wasn’t even in frame, so Nolan was just looking at the ceiling in TK’s room and hearing her sing along badly to a song Nolan had never heard before.

_“‘–soup and caviar… send it to the roof… the minibar…’ The song. The song!”_ TK said with increasing enthusiasm like that was going to make Nolan recognize the it. _“‘…feel good one last time– make love one last time…’”_

“I don’t know what song you’re talking about–”

The music got louder then, and Nolan supposed TK had gone over to turn it up. That meant TK was singing louder too.

_“‘BABY YOU HAVE BEEN PUSHING ME AWAY–’”_

“TK–”

_“‘I JUST MADE YOU COME CAN I MAKE YOU STAY–’”_

“TK!”

_“Yes?”_

“Did you just call me so to make me listen to you listening to music?”

_“What? No?”_

“Don’t you have class tomorrow?”

_“‘…think you’re playing when you look at me like I’m an alien…’”_

“I have never heard this song before,”

_“‘deep down you know–’”_

“TK–”

_“‘we could’ve been good… good together,’”_

“TK, it’s late, I’m going to bed,”

_“I can’t believe you don’t know the song, it’s so good!”_

“Goodnight, TK.” Nolan hung up the phone with her heart thumping in her ears to the beat of whatever song it was TK was listening to.

Nolan didn’t know what that was about. It really was quite late. She should be getting ready for bed. She should go to sleep. She couldn’t be thinking about what the fuck that was about. 

She brushed her teeth and she wasn’t thinking about it. She washed her face and she absolutely did not think about it. She changed into a big t-shirt for sleeping in and threw herself onto her bed and she wasn’t thinking about it and yet her entire body was so full of restless energy like electricity that she could barely lie still. 

Nolan spent a valiant minute trying to resist before she caved and pulled up her t-shirt and stuck her hand in her underwear. And fuck it. She thought about TK. She imagined TK straddling her on her bed with a glorious thigh on either side of her. Thought of TK’s hands under her shirt cupping her boobs, squeezing, pinching her nipples. TK grinding down, TK with her mouth on Nolan’s neck, TK biting her earlobe. Nolan was sure TK probably had a filthy mouth in bed. She thought of TK saying all kinds of hot shit like how good she looked, how well she was doing, how badly she wanted to fuck her. 

Once she’d felt weird thinking about TK when she touched herself. She’d gotten over that a while ago now. TK didn’t have to know. 

Nolan was going to tell her about her feeling but she didn’t have to say anything about what she thought about when she felt herself up, got herself off. TK never had to know. 

Nolan came with a shiver that went all the way from her toes to her scalp.

It still took her the better part of an hour before she finally fell asleep.

*

Nolan was making an early dinner when her phone pinged with a notification. Another came in before Nolan had unlocked it. A third while she was opening the app.

Snapchat. From TK. She was in a changing room in some store. 

The first was of TK in a loose white shirt, more buttons open than closed, no bra. Looked super stupid with the dark athletic shorts she was wearing. The caption was _sexy pirate?????_

The next two was of the same outfit, of TK doing different poses, makes goofy faces.

One more. This one was taken over TK’s shoulder in the mirror, no top at all, showing off her back. 

Like her thighs, TK was proud of her back. 

Nolan left the kitchen to go the couch, grab a pillow, bury her face in it, and let out a long, deep, muffled groan into it.

*

They were doing homework in Nolan’s room. That was the go-to homework hang out spot. It had been for a long time. Nolan’s room. Nolan’s bed. They both had each their laptop in front of them. 

They each had work to do. They just happened to be on Nolan’s bed. Nolan had done work like this before and she could do it again now. She could be in a bed with TK without thinking about, like, getting naked, or putting her tongue places where she shouldn’t be thinking about putting her tongue. 

Nolan was sitting cross-legged, leaning against the headboard, and TK was on her stomach leaning on her elbows with her face in her hands and her feet in the head end of the bed. 

Nolan had complained about not wanting TK’s feet on her pillow but TK had just grabbed it and put it next to her in the foot end, which Nolan didn’t know how to explain to her wasn’t much better. Pillows should stay in the head end of the bed. Nolan couldn’t find it in her to get worked up about it today though.

TK was wearing a hoodie that might actually be Nolan’s, looked it from the size, probably only wearing a sports bra, or possibly nothing, under it, and then those black bike shorts she had that went down to her mid-thigh, but the material of the shorts has hiked up as she was shifting around and getting comfortable, baring tan skin, not two feet away from Nolan’s hand. 

If she wanted to she could just reach out. 

A shift had happened at some point. After TK had started sending Nolan those pictures, and after Nolan had started looking at them. Nothing about TK herself had changed, but her skin, it seemed different to Nolan. Or not her skin itself as such, but the way Nolan felt when she looked at it. 

Suddenly looking at TK’s skin felt like Nolan was being let in on a secret. Like she shouldn’t be allowed. Especially her legs, her thighs. God. Her fucking thighs. Every time TK moved and changed positions, her muscles moved under the skin and it made Nolan’s mouth go dry. 

Nolan imagined what it would feel like to have those legs wrapped around her waist. 

Every space that they were both in suddenly felt both smaller and bigger than it actually was. Every room a little warmer than it should be. Every minute passing in the blink of an eye and lasting longer than an hour.

TK sat up suddenly and Nolan’s eyes shot back to her laptop screen.

“I’m not gonna get anything done today,” TK said. “I’m staring at this and nothing’s happening.”

“Okay.” Nolan didn’t look up.

“I’m bored.”

“What are you reading?”

“I’m honestly not even sure.”

“What’s it say on there?”

“I don’t know. I’m tired, can’t concentrate, I can’t read.”

Nolan cleared her throat. She tried for aloof.

“Take a nap then,” she said.

TK closed her laptop and pushed it to the side.

“I’m gonna,” she said. She shifted again, smoothing out Nolan’s duvet under her, grabbing Nolan’s pillow and moved so she was laying across the bed in the opposite direction than before, with her knees pulled up slightly, and her head next to Nolan’s legs.

And then she just went to sleep right there. 

Nolan watched her for what must have been a full minute, and listened to TK’s breathing slow down, watching her jittery energy settle. 

Watching TK sleep was another thing that felt like a secret that Nolan wasn’t supposed to be in on. It was the only time when TK was still. The stillness felt vulnerable, like an animal showing Nolan its soft belly.

TK looked soft. Her hair especially. 

Warm afternoon light came in through the window and fell on TK in a way that made Nolan’s gut tighten. Looking at TK’s hair made Nolan want to reach out. She just wanted to see, wanted to feel if it was really as soft as it looked. And TK was sleeping, she would never have to know. And she shouldn’t, but she just couldn’t help herself; she reached over and touched it. Softly stroking, running her fingers through without tangling them in. She scratched lightly, barely twisting it around her fingertips. 

TK was breathing deeply.

After a little while she stopped and pulled her hand back, and then to Nolan’s complete and absolute horror, TK mumbled:

“Why did you stop?” 

Nolan was mortified and frozen with her hand hovering in the space between TK’s head and Nolan’s own body. She didn’t say anything.

An elastic moment passed, stretching into eternity and snapping back into place.

“Do it more,” TK said. 

And Nolan did. God help her, she did it more.

From where she was she couldn’t even see if TK had opened her eyes or if she had gone back to sleep. If she had even been asleep at all in the first place.

She scratched TK’s hair. Smoothed it down. Ran her fingers through it. Her fingers, her entire arm really, felt charged with an electrical current.

“Patty,” TK said.

“Yeah?”

“While you’re at it, could you scratch my back? Between the shoulders, I don’t think I can reach–”

Nolan scoffed. Exhaled. “You’re so annoying,” she said. 

“I’m not.”

Nolan laughed breathily.

“You’re literally the most annoying person I know.”

“That’s not funny, Pat.”

“You might be the most annoying person in the entire world.”

“It’s not funny!” TK twisted her entire body around to frown at Nolan.

“Sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, Teek. I’m sorry that you’re the most annoying person in the known universe.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“Imagine being best friends with the most annoying person in the _known universe_. What does that say about you?”

“Excuse me?”

“You must be such a _loooooser.”_

“Fuck you.”

“Go ahead, babe.” 

Nolan scoffed again. It was all she could do. She was sure TK wouldn’t just say stuff like that if she knew. 

Nolan should really tell her. Not now though. Not now. But soon. 

*

Nolan hadn’t gone for her run today even though she’d been planning to. There wasn’t a reason, she just hadn’t. Her body was full of energy, especially when she didn’t have other things to do to distract her. 

It wasn’t always like this, it was sort of a new thing, it was just, lately she had so much restless energy in her body, and she didn’t know why, but she’d found that the most effective ways to spend some of it was running or jacking off. 

It had started raining. She couldn’t go running now.

Nolan picked up her phone to text TK and saw that there was a notification waiting. A snap from TK. Nolan unlocked her phone. Purple icon. A video. Nolan opened it.

She wasn’t sure if she actually blacked out for a second or if it just felt like it based on how lightheaded she suddenly got. 

The timer on most of TK’s snaps were on the infinity setting so if Nolan didn’t touch the screen it just replayed when it finishing and Nolan didn’t remember how to use her hands or even that she had them.

She just watched TK pointing her phone at her own reflection kneeling on her bed in the full-length mirror opposite. Watched TK popping the button on her DYI cut-off denim shorts with her free hand and with a sly smile on her face, slowly slide her hand down her stomach and into her shorts, into her underwear, the zipper gradually falling open to make room for TK’s hand. And the video ended. 

And then began again.

Her hair was falling into her face, she was biting her lip. 

The sun had set, the light in TK’s room was low and came from TK’s countless string lights that she’d hung everywhere they’d stay up and that horrible magenta lamp just outside of the frame. 

TK’s t-shirt was lifted and held in place under the elbow of the arm holding the phone, showing off her stomach. Pink light. Pink glow. Pink shadows. Pink stars dotting Nolan’s vision when she hadn’t blinked for longer than was comfortable. And the video restarted.

Popping button. Shirt tucked up. Hand sliding down. Down, down, down. Pink skin. 

Video restarting. 

TK on her knees on the bed. Popping the button. Shifting her weight. Hand sliding.

Nolan eyes began to water. She finally blinked. She touched the screen, but there was nothing else. The video was gone. 

Nolan switched, as fast as the machine would allow her, to the facetime app. 

The first thing Nolan heard when TK picked up was loud music, and she realized she’d never turned on the sound, but the words were in her mouth as soon she’d hit call and she just blurted them out. 

“You can’t– you can’t just–!”

The music stopped and TK came into frame.

_“Pat, what’s up?”_

Nolan took a breath.

“You can’t just!” That was it, the entirety of the sentence, Nolan blanked on how to follow it up.

_“Can’t what?”_

“You just– _You!”_

_“What’s up? Are you alright?”_

“No!” Nolan just said.

TK pursed her lips for a moment. Then she hung up.

Not two minutes later someone knocked on Nolan’s front door.

She opened to see TK standing there in her cut-off shorts, a snapback on backwards, and a familiar, large hoodie.

“That’s mine,” Nolan said.

“Can I come in?” the question so casual that Nolan for an instant forgot why she was so upset.

“Uh, sure.”

“Thanks. So, what did you wanna say.”

“What? Oh.” It all came back to Nolan like a punch to the gut. “You can’t just send stuff like that!”

“Stuff like what?” TK said, infuriatingly calm as she closed the door behind her.

“Like– Like!” 

“What can’t I send you?”

God, she was really going to be the death of her.

“You’re gonna be the fucking death of me, TK,” Nolan said, exasperated. “Videos like that! Of you! with your– your hand down your pants! You just can’t!”

“Why not?” TK asked, and she sounded stubborn now. “You’ve been okay with everything else I’ve sent you. Haven’t you?”

As they were talking, not quite yelling but a near thing in Nolan’s case, TK was walking to Nolan’s room and Nolan just followed.

“Yes! No! Well, yes. But– it’s– it’s…”

Nolan gestured vaguely. She didn’t know what to say, or she did, but not how.

TK waited a moment for her to figure it out. When Nolan didn’t continue she sighed. Nodded.

TK sat down on the edge of Nolan’s unmade bed.

“Listen, I’m sorry,” she said, “I know, that was… it was… whatever. It’s stupid. I’m sorry, forget it, I’ll stop.”

“What? Wait. No.”

“‘No’ _what?”_

“I mean, you don’t– don’t have to stop. I mean. If you don’t want to. You don’t have to stop.”

“Oh.” TK considered that for a moment. Then she cracked a smile. “You like it, eh?” Jesus, and it was wicked.

“Huh?”

“When I send you those pictures. You like it. You like it them.”

“It’s– they’re fine.”

TK huffed. 

_“‘It’s fine’._ I think you like those pictures a lot.”

“Yeah, they’re fine. I don’t mind.”

“Coy! You can say you like them!” TK was completely relentless, and Nolan was having a hard time thinking straight. “Listen, I get it, video was too much, but you like the pictures! You like them?”

TK stopped for a second. Nolan just watched her.

“Okay, listen. I’m sorry, okay? It’s just.” And just then TK’s confidence seemed to waver just a fraction. A flicker. Nolan watched her try and keep her composure. It was weird to see. 

“Shit,” TK said then. “Okay. Fuck it. Okay.” TK seemed to change. Or like, obviously she was the same, but she sort of became smaller somehow. She took a deep breath. “I have to tell you something– something kind of... Or– It’s something. That we should talk about.” 

Nolan finally sat down on the other side of the bed just as TK got up and paced a couple of steps around Nolan’s room, then came back to the bed and sat back down again. 

“We have to talk I mean,” TK said. “Yeah.”

Nolan froze. She felt like she had something stuck in her throat making it hard to breathe, like her heart, or her lungs, or maybe both.

The _yeah_ Nolan meant to say didn’t quite make it out of her mouth. 

She tried again: “Yeah? What’s up?”

This was probably it. TK had noticed. Noticed that Nolan was being weird. Noticed that she was always watching, that she… Nolan was going to have to tell her now. She had to. This was it. 

TK began again before Nolan had a chance to: “Okay so I know, I know, that like, we’re friends and, I mean, we’re _friends_, you’re, like, my best friend. You’re like–

TK got off the bed one more time to pace some more while she was talking. Rambling, really. Nolan felt weird sitting and got up as well. She felt weird standing too, and sat back down again. 

TK went on: “–and I don’t wanna make things weird, but it’s not fair, it’s not–”

There it was. She was right. It wasn’t fair. Nolan should have told her sooner, before it got to this.

“I’m sorry,” Nolan said at the exact same time as TK said: “I, like, like you.”

“What?” again in unison.

“You like me?” Nolan asked.

And TK said: “What? Why are you sorry?”

“I– I’m… I thought… You _like_ me? Like…” Nolan said, convinced she must have heard her wrong.

“Fuckin’ yeah. Why the hell are you sorry?”

“I thought! I thought you were gonna say– because I like– I like _you_. Like, I have feelings for you! Have had! Have! For like, I don’t even know!” Nolan ears were ringing just a little. It was out.

“You do?” TK asked. “You– wait really?”

_“Yes,_ really.” It wasn’t that Nolan didn’t understand what was happening, it was just that she was having kind of a hard time believing it. “If you, like, felt the same way why didn’t you, like, say anything? Or do something?”

_“Felt the same.”_ TK scoffed. “I didn’t know it was _same_. I thought it was just fucking _me!_” And then: “And I fucking _DID_. I– what the fuck do you think I’ve been _DOING?”_

“I don’t know! I don’t know, TK!”

“Those pictures? The videos? Blowing up your fucking phone! The fucking– the other day– I thought you _knew!_ Always fucking hanging around every god damn day!”

_“What?_ That was– _I_ said you could send me those. _I–”_

“Yeah, but why do you think I fucking brought it up in the first place, genius?”

“What? You, what? _Wanted_ me to…”

“Yeah, I fucking wanted to, I was fucking _praying_ you’d ask.” TK took her hat off and ran her hands through her hair like she for the life of her could not believe she had to spell this out. She held her hat in her hand gesturing wildly with it. “I’ve been working my ass off to make you fall in love with me!”

“Jesus Christ, TK,” Nolan said, and TK, still pacing, moving, changed direction and came towards Nolan and stopped in front of her, a couple of feet away. 

Nolan stood up and took a small step to meet her. “Yeah,” she said. “Well. It fucking worked. So what now?”

“I think the ball’s in your court, bro,” TK said.

“Please don’t call me bro right now.”

“Patty, it’s you now, it’s on you. You gotta do something now.”

“Like what? Like what?” Nolan was blanking. All she saw was pink stars and TK wearing Nolan’s own fucking hoodie.

“I dunno,” TK said. “You gotta think of something. Anything,” she said. “You can do anything you want.”

“I– okay… okay, give me a sec.” 

Pictures came into Nolan’s mind, hundreds all at once. Most of them completely unhelpful. Thinking wasn’t helping. Nolan tried to stop thinking.

“I’d give you all the time in the fucking world, Patty,”

Nolan’s heart was in her fucking throat. It was in her head and her ears and her gut and her hands. Her hands. She put tone on either side of TK’s face. Held her. Felt her. 

Her skin really was warm. It was hot. 

TK looked up at her, unblinking. Nolan looked at TK watching her. 

She didn’t remember the last time she’d met TK’s eyes like this, the last time she’d let herself. 

Nolan pushed a bit of TK’s hear behind her ear. She felt at once like she was going to pass out but also like if a car hit her right now she would probably be fine. 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw TK’s hat fly off, TK having tossed it like a Frisbee.

When Nolan couldn’t fucking stand it any longer she leaned down, and TK must have gotten up on her toes in the same second and it felt like magnets fitting together when they kissed. 

TK locked her arms around Nolan’s neck for leverage or something else. 

TK kissed hard, kissed hot, kissed like she was biting. TK’s kiss felt like an open oven, like a blowtorch. 

This first kiss melted some old part of Nolan away to expose something new, raw and tender.

Nolan put a hand against the small of TK’s back, pressing her close, the other on TK’s hip, then her waist. Her ribs, her back, her waist again. Nolan wanted to put her hands _everywhere._

TK let go pulled back for a second to pull her hoodie off. She was wearing the same soft shirt from the video underneath.

She let the hoodie fall to the floor. 

With a hand on Nolan’s chest, TK pushed her backwards towards the bed again until the back of her legs hit the frame of it. Nolan sat down on the edge and when TK crawled onto her lap with a knee on either side, Nolan put her hands on TK’s ass to hold her in place, digging her fingers in.

Nolan looked up at TK now. 

“How’s this?” Nolan asked.

“Yeah,” TK said, lifting her chin coyly an exposed her neck to Nolan. “Yeah, this works.” 

Nolan kissed the base of her throat, kissed the underside of her jaw.

“TK…”

“Yeah?”

“Jesus, TK.”

That was all. Nolan couldn’t make sentences. 

TK could though.

“This really fucking works,” she said. “This works. This working for you?”

“Hmm,” Nolan said.

“Yeah.” TK tipped her head down again to kiss Nolan’s mouth. Open-mouthed kisses. TK tasted sweet, like how water sometimes is sweet. Her mouth tasted so fucking good.

TK was grinding against Nolan and all Nolan could do was press her closer. 

“Pretty mouth,” TK was saying, “I love your pretty mouth. So pretty…”

TK got a hand under Nolan’s shirt, feeling her skin, and it might have tickled if TK’s touch hadn’t burned Nolan up, hot under her clothes, hot in contact with TK. Blowtorch. Oven. Fireworks. Furnace. Stars. Hot.

“You’re so fucking hot.” TK was talking, chattier than Nolan could even have imagined, and with every word she lost her mind a little more. “I’ve wanted to put my mouth on your tits since the goddamn day I met you.” 

“TK…” That was only thing Nolan could think of to say.

“God, fucking look at you, you’re so fucking beautiful.” 

Nolan sucked in a breath when TK bit the soft skin on the side of her neck. TK sucked on the same spot like she wanted to leave a mark.

“TK, shit, _TK…”_

“Yeah? That feel good? I wanna make you feel so fucking good, Patty. Bet you could make me feel real good, too.”

Nolan curled her fingers into TK’s hair, still flat from wearing that hat. 

“I wish I’d known,” TK said, “so we could have gotten to this part sooner.” She spoke against Nolan’s mouth in between kisses.

“Yeah,” Nolan said.

“You ever touch yourself to them?” asked TK.

“Huh?” Nolan asked, a little breathless, unsure if she’d heard her right.

“My pictures? You touch yourself looking at them? Thinking about them?”  


_“Jesus.”_

“Well? Have you?”

“Yes. Fuck.”

“For real?” TK took Nolan’s face between her hands and held it fast looking from one eye to the other. She must have seen in them that Nolan was telling the truth. “Fuck. _Fuck,_ Patty.”

“Yeah, fucking tell me about it.”

TK pulled Nolan’s face to hers for another hard kiss, she bit Nolan’s lip hard enough that it stung. 

She moved her hands under her shirt again, one on her back, and another on Nolan’s stomach, started slowly moving down, like she had done on herself in the video.

“When? Where?”

“At night,” Nolan didn’t see the point in not telling her, not at this point, “in bed. The shower…”

“Oh yeah? You fantasize about me, Patty? Bet you did. I fantasize about you all the fucking time–” 

Nolan gave TK’s hair a light tug.

“–think about you when I jerk off.”

Nolan felt as close as she ever had to howling at the fucking moon. 

“What do I do to you? When you think about me in the shower?” TK bit Nolan’s earlobe. “What do you do to me?

“I…” Nolan began.

“Wait.” TK pulled back just enough that they could look at each other. Nolan met her gaze. Her eyed honest to God sparkled. _“Show me,”_ TK said. 

Wide-eyed, Nolan let herself be pulled off the bed and out of the room.

Nolan started undressing as they were stumbling to Nolan’s bathroom, struggling out of items of clothing one by one. She almost tripped with her sweatpants around her ankles. 

And then tripped for real when TK half tackled her, and they both went down. 

TK quickly pulled off her socks and threw them each in different directions and then she swung a leg over Nolan who was on her back. 

TK leaned down and licked a long line up Nolan’s throat and grabbed the hem of Nolan’s t-shirt. She lifted her arms above her head so TK could get it off of her. 

“God, your little sounds. You kill me, Patty.” 

TK put both hands on Nolan’s tits. She stopped suddenly, looked at Nolan. Nolan was wearing one of those soft bralettes. No padding.

“Holy shit,” she said, “when’dya get your nipples pierced, Patty?”

“Uh, last year?”

“Fuck. Both?”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t tell me? What the fuck!”

TK looked like she was thinking real hard about making it into a whole thing. She must have ultimately decided that it could wait.

She pressed quick little kisses down Nolan’s neck and along her collarbone and between her boobs, then she climbed off and before Nolan hadn’t even gotten all the way to her feet again she heard TK turning on the water. 

The little shit moved like a weasel, slinky and fast, nearly impossible to keep up with. Fuck it if Nolan wasn’t going to try anyway.

Nolan found TK in just her boxers. Men’s, Nolan was pretty sure. Nolan was still wearing both her panties and her bra. 

She pressed TK with her entire body against the sink to kiss her again, and TK hummed happily. 

Nolan leaned down to kiss her neck again. She wanted to press herself into TK, like they could become a single being. Close could never be close enough. 

Nolan felt down TK’s warm back. Her skin was so stupid smooth. Nolan put a thigh between TK’s legs, pushed it against her. 

“Oh, _fuck_, bro,” TK said.

“Please don’t call me bro when I’m about to put my fingers inside you.”

“Oh, yeah? Okay,” TK said. “Baby.”

_“Fuck.”_ Nolan slid her hands around to TK’s waist to her ribs and back up to put her hands on TK’s boobs. She put her mouth back on TK’s mouth. 

“Oh yeah? You really like that, eh?” TK crooned, lips still touching Nolan’s. “That feels so fucking good, _baby.”_

TK undid the clasp of Nolan’s bra behind her back, and Nolan let go of TK for just long enough to get it off and toss it into the sink behind her. Then TK stuck her tongue in Nolan’s mouth.

As the water began to get hot, steam started to rise around them.

TK managed, with her limited mobility, to pull down first Nolan’s underwear, and then her own. The she pushed off the sink and pulled Nolan by her wrists under the hot stream.

“God, Patty, I’ve wanted to do this for fucking ever, you know that? I can’t even fucking look at you without thinking of like fifty things I want you to do to me with a strap.”

“Jesus…”

“You got a strap-on?”

“No.”

_“No?_ We should get one.”

“Christ.”

TK threw her arms around Nolan’s neck again to pull her down in a sloppy kiss. They stood there kissing for a moment, letting their hair soak. Then Nolan took TK by the shoulders and turned her around to face the tiled wall.

“Oh, that’s how you like it?” TK said, corner of her mouth turned up. She braced her head against her forearm. 

Nolan took a short moment to just admire TK’s back. Everything about TK’s body made her lose her mind, but her back, tan and smooth and strong, made her brain melt and dribble out her ear. 

Nolan felt like she couldn’t stay contained inside her own body, like she was going to burst, looking at TK’s muscles shifting, at the water running down her skin. Nolan could have run through a wall. Swallowed a star.

She buried her face in the side of TK’s neck. She put her mouth on TK’s wet skin, kissing, sucking, biting. TK reached back behind her and put her free hand against the back of Nolan’s head holding her in place.

Nolan put one hand on one of TK’s tits, kneading, and the other between her legs. TK spread her feet a little more, opened her legs a little wider, making better space for Nolan. 

“Yeah–”

And TK was so fucking wet. Jesus Christ. Nolan pushed her middle finger inside, then her ring finger as well. Curled her fingers slightly as she slipped them back out. 

“–please…”

She found the spot easy enough. 

Nolan started slowly, fingers slick, in little circle motions.

Nolan was so turned on she felt like she could come if someone just looked real hard at her clit. If TK was anywhere close to that this probably wouldn’t take that long. Still, Nolan did want to draw it out a little bit. 

TK was still babbling, though not as eloquently as she had before–

“Yeah, fuck, Patty, baby…”

–and Nolan wanted to hear it all. She wanted to savor as much of it as she could.

“…God, Pat, yes…”

Nolan decided finally pick up the pace a little, and she leaned slightly into TK as she did so.

And just like that TK stopped talking. TK’s hand still on Nolan’s head gripped her hair. 

Over the water hitting the tiles and the shower curtain Nolan just barely heard, and only because her face was still right by TK’s, a gasp, TK’s shallow breaths, and a single, tight “don’t _fucking_ stop.”

And Nolan didn’t. Not until, trembling, TK’s knees almost gave.

For a while they just stood there breathing. 

Nolan brought one hand up and the other down to close around TK’s waist. She held her, rested her chin on TK’s shoulder, felt the beat of her heart through her ribs. It was at least another thirty seconds before TK said a word. 

The word was _fuck._

TK was hiding her face in the crook of her elbow. 

Nolan let go of TK’s waist. She put her hands on TK’s shoulder, kissed the skin between her shoulder blades, kissed the back of her neck, kissed the blooming hickey, kissed her hair. 

“TK?” 

“Mhm.”

“You in there?”

A beat.

“Think so.”

Finally Nolan took her wrist to turn her around. TK let her without fuss.

“Let me see you,” Nolan said.

TK turned and looked at her through her eyelashes, her smile crooked and lazy. There was a rare shyness too that made Nolan feel drunk. TK’s smile became a grin. 

“Rosy,” she just said.

Nolan thought knew that look that bloomed on TK’s face by now. 

TK looked her over with her lip between her teeth. 

“Alright,” TK said then, “my turn.”

**Author's Note:**

> This got so much longer than I originally intended but like, who's fucking surprised
> 
> I’m almost 100% sure the real Travis Konecny has never even heard of Scarlet Pleasure and I am almost as certain that even if he had he wouldn’t enjoy their music that much, it’s probably way too urban for his delicate yeehaw sensibilities.
> 
> Nolan does think that the rat from ratatouille is called ratatouille 
> 
> Happy birthday virgo king
> 
> read Contact Sport by jolach


End file.
